Berlin police hands out misprinted rulers

Berlin police have discovered a novel way to undermine the mystique of authority: merch.

According to Der Spiegel, the Berlin police distributed promotional rulers emblazoned with police branding—only to learn that the rulers were misprinted and did not measure correctly. The force has now reacted to the “panne” and is drawing consequences, a phrase that in German bureaucratese can cover everything from quietly binning the stock to launching a committee to ensure future rulers obey the laws of Euclidean space.

It’s a small story, but a revealing one. Modern police forces increasingly present themselves not merely as law enforcers but as lifestyle institutions: approachable, community-minded, and—crucially—marketable. The logic is corporate: build trust through brand familiarity, soften the image, recruit talent, and create a sense of shared identity. The state, having monopolised coercion, now tries its hand at marketing.

The problem is that state organisations are structurally bad at the basics of commerce. They don’t live or die by customer dissatisfaction; they live or die by budgets, legal mandates, and internal process. When a private company ships a defective measuring tool, it faces returns, reputational damage, and competitors. When a public agency does it, the costs are dispersed, the feedback loop is weak, and the repair mechanism is often a press line about “learning lessons.”

A police force, whose legitimacy rests on precision—correct procedures, correct evidence handling, correct proportionality—hands out a measuring device that literally cannot be trusted to measure. It’s a metaphor you could accuse of being heavy-handed, except the police printed it themselves.

There’s also a deeper point about institutional self-parody. When the state turns itself into a brand, it invites the same scrutiny applied to brands. A slogan, a logo, a “community” campaign: all become fair targets for mockery when the product doesn’t work. The aura of command depends on a certain distance. Close that distance with merch, and you also close the gap between “authority” and “customer service department with guns.”

Berlin’s miscalibrated rulers won’t change policing outcomes. But they do capture the modern condition: institutions that insist on being trusted, while outsourcing competence to procurement chains and PR narratives. In the end, the thing that’s off by a few millimetres isn’t just the ruler—it’s the entire idea that legitimacy can be manufactured like swag.